Former England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the condition.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his present wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the disease deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he added.
First Indications
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a number of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't experience poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Illness Development
MND can progress quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 24 months of detection, as eating and respiration become harder.
Medical care can only slow deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Speaking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody stated the emphasis was remaining in the now.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to devote as much period with the kids as attainable. We don't get those years back."
Sportsman Association
Elite competitors are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen available and causing damage to nerve cells, regular, strenuous physical activity can initiate the condition in those already genetically susceptible.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a training equipment and started participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical passage of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding field goal.
Support Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other former colleagues about his medical situation, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he said.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your career, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will want to support in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
